«We work in serious B2B enterprise. We need dry, professional, corporate copy.»
Complete bullshit.
If I hear a Marketing Director say this one more time, I might scream. This single sentence is the reason your expensive white papers are collecting digital dust and your cold emails have a 0.1% open rate.
Let’s strip it down to the naked truth: B2B does not exist.
Corporations don’t buy things. Buildings don’t sign checks. Logos don’t make decisions. People do. There is only H2H (Human to Human).
Meet Dave. He holds your fate in his sweaty hands.
The decision to sign a contract for your $500,000 SaaS platform or industrial machinery isn’t made by some abstract entity like «Global Dynamics Inc.»
It’s made by Dave. Dave is a 52-year-old VP of Operations. And right now, Dave is not feeling very «corporate.»
Dave has a twitching eye from too much caffeine. He has a massive mortgage in the suburbs that keeps him awake at 3 AM. He’s terrified of the upcoming board meeting because his numbers are down. And deep down, he has a desperate desire to fire half his incompetent department just to get some peace.
Saving His Ass vs. «Innovative Solutions»
Right now, Dave is hiding in the executive bathroom on the 40th floor, splashing cold water on his gray face, staring into the mirror and wondering if he’s going to get fired this quarter.
Do you really think in that moment of pure, raw panic, Dave wants to read about your «synergistic cutting-edge technologies» or your «robust API integration capabilities»?
Hell no.
Dave doesn’t care about your features. Dave wants to know only one thing: How will buying your expensive product save his ass in front of the shareholders next week?
He wants to know how your product will make him look like a hero to his CEO, so he can keep paying that mortgage and maybe, just maybe, get a full night’s sleep.
Stop Writing for Robots. Start Writing for Dave.
When you write «dry B2B copy,» you are writing for a robot that doesn’t exist. You are ignoring the human animal on the other side of the screen who is driven by fear, ambition, and the instinct for survival.
At Contented Mind, we don’t write B2B copy. We write survival guides for stressed executives. We find the deepest fear of your decision-maker and show them the way out.
Stop trying to sound smart. Start being useful to the sweaty guy in the bathroom.
CONTENTED MIND. THE UNFAIR ADVANTAGE OF NAKED COPY.
